If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
