Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
