How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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