But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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