So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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