Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
