he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
