she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
