wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize