I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
