Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
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we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
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i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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