At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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