i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
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