at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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