I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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