Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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