youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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