Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
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bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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