We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
