So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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