is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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