she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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