As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
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