Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
