Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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