Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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