Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
