I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
