remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
