In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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