i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
