He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
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So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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