It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
