true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
