well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
