I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
