i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
