I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
