I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
