Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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