He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
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I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
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Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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