If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
