apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
