and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
