My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
