Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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