Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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