so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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