we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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