Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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