I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
