I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize