Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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