youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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