I cannot find my penis.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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