just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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