oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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