I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I don't think brook has ever known best
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
