There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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