so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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