I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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